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Pacing and Papers 

My Own Notes from the Underground: Defying Anxiety, Anger, and Depression 29 Dec 2020 

Today I think I had promised a blog on pacing, the restless walking back and forth, that for me indicates racing mind; faintheartedness, and irritability, this is the state I’m in as I’m  bouncing  from one task to another without actually starting the intended project. So many fears, so many voices inside the head… 

But I remember reading about the Sumerian peoples; and according to Sir C. Leonard Woolley, in his…

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Segovia Scales 

My Own Notes from the Underground: Defying Anxiety, Anger, and Depression 08 Dec 2020 

Tonight I am completing a day. Sunday went okay…made it to Church on time, and Saturday, I was 30 minutes late.  Was already, dressed with coat on and keys in the pocket…afraid to leave the safety of my little apartment/art studio, with an emphasis on studio.  Finally I left… facing the wrath…. Made it through, kept the tears back, managed to smile, and recognize one word from a hymn I’m trying to learn in Russian.…

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Day by Day 

My Own Notes from the Underground: Defying Anxiety, Anger, and Depression 10 Dec 2020 

Okay, today was better. But for some reason having a hard time getting to bed before 1:30am. The good news is that I was able to knock out some articles, for my Blog, and tonight After painting a little, and doing some print thumbnails for to develop another print artwork,  I’m going to finish my news vlog, and try to gather news for a Sunday analysis, vlog.  They say you have to at least post…

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Another Bad Day, So Embarrassed 

My Own Notes from the Underground: Defying Anxiety, Anger, and Depression 08 Dec 2020 

Today was another bad day. This time not until 11 am, did I get out of bed,  with the mysterious crashing of my easel which got me up thinking my cat was the culprit. No she looked too calm, and there was no no "ah hah look on her face, or "spooked" look on it either.    Amazingly the damage to the easel was extremely minimum, so I’m taking it as a divine warning.  On some level, Depression indeed is a decision one…

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xenia williams dba Tersa Rian Notes From the UnderGround 2020 Dec 7  



My Own Notes from the Underground: Defying Anxiety, Anger, and Depression 07 Dec 2020 

So today is Monday, and I got up very late….around 8:30am. 4 hours later than I had planned.  Yesterday in spite of myself I got to Church on time.  The day went well, except at night I did not go to bed until 1:30am…better than most nights when it has been around 3 or 4 am. Stressing. 

 I had a nightmare about a political figure on the left, and I don’t want to talk about it right now.  I think I can parlay…

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I Don't Know Everything, and that is Such a Relief!!!! 

So I think I been doing a lot of thinking about how I interact with people and why.  I am a motherless daughter, and a fatherless one as well.  I have been treated as an object for all of my life.  The funny thing is that the people who are treating you that way, they are being seen too....I see what you are doing, and I've learned that being a non-person in the eyes of others, Well it has become comforting...and the horror of horrors,


But it still creates incredible pain and panic within me.   So that I…

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So, Yea, Practice in the Time of Chaos 


this country has been for the last four years experiencing upheaval after upheaval. This president has been attacked so blatantly, even brazenly by people who have lost all sense of decorum, it has been somewhat, to say the least shocking initially and now numbing to watch.  I voted for this president, and although he's not perfect (which president has been perfect? Someone tell me!); he nor the country deserves what I can only characterize as a prolonged siege with the intent of destabilizing him…

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Entering the Arena of the Performer 

Coming out of a period of when I have not done much with my music, and finding myself now with the space to look to it again with the view of doing some busking again, I do feel stronger technically, and confidently.  It may not look like that, but I know what I have to do now to basically have some fun with this. I'm starting out with Friday NIghts Songs From My Childhood which I publish on Instagram, raw;  and reacquainting myself with the songs that have inspired me growing up, and also realizing how…

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Christ Is Born!!!!! (for thou and thine on the gregorian calendar) 

i did this woodcarving print some time ago while still living in Eugene Oregon. Unfortunately with all my moving about I lost the original woodblock-plates!!!  However, I will be carving this piece again, as well as many others in the future and perhaps you would like them, that is, prints of them, sold exclusively here?   well, if you are interested shoot me an email, and I will see what I will be able to do!  

And nonetheless to all of you collaborators,  fans and visitors,   I wish you to  have
a peaceful…Read more

windows voice recorder and landr mastering: the artists public offering 

So being an independent artist, well, creativity rules in finding resources to make a project a reality., t...and often times its difficult to get one's art out there in its most 'out there' ready format.  Thanks to the internet economy, aka the people to people economy...artists such as myself can leverage a variety of ways of financing their projects. There has been alot of success with crowdfunding sites such as kickstarter and indiegogo!   This is wonderful...because it levels the marketing field for…

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What Exactly is Byzan-FolkArt or StreetFolk Art 

The two are not the same.  When I decided that I wanted to play music publicly, it was before I converted to Christian Orthodoxy, I didn't even really know what Orthodoxy was at the time.  Nonetheless,  I wanted to do music without restrictions, and art in general that  true to what was really going on inside of me simply as a human being...At the time I was constantly dealing with the spectre of homelessness...and depression...not always in a healthy way...and i decided to call my music streetfolk.  

But…Read more

How to Fight the Demon of Noon Day Psalm 90 


pray. and don’t just lie there, no matter how afraid of it you are, work on your talent.  This working on your talent is your gift back to God, your way of honouring the responsibility of the talent that He has given to you.  And you do the best that you can, and you do it with the goal of increasing your talents by sharing it,  for this is what God wants you to do….


The ultimate talent that was given to us is Life….and how we live that life will determine our fate in the after life…and I do know that…

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